Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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