well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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