Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize