just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
