He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
