chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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