flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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