you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
