There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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