Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
