do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
