Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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