I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
