We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
