Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
