Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
