I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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