I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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