I think I won the penis lottery.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I could fuck to npr.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
