My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
