Dual....:-)
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i've created a new STD.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
