a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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