Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize