jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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