yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
