we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
