Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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