Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
