Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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