am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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