I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
