I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
