He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
