There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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