Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
