i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
