My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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