Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize