just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
