Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
