After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
