Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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