Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
