And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
