Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
