sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I need water and some morals
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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