I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
