I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
