she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
