Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
there is glitter all over my balls
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
