Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
