tell your sister to shave her snatch
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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