I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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