If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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