sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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