He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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