Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
high people should be assigned attendants
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
