all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
