i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
