Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
