your parents love me but you hate me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
