I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize